Put yourself first, no one else will.
The quote above resonated with me. Mainly because there are times in my life I would have loved to have that strength of character.
The truth is we all stay in relationships that are bad for us. We justify it with a handful of excuses, but the feelings are always there. The excuses help us avoid the real reason we don’t leave. We are not strong enough.
Whether in a romantic relationship or that with family and friends the excuses are always the same.
They love me
Do they really? Would they be making you feel this way if they loved you? Maybe they do love you, but if you’re not happy then you don’t love yourself enough to leave.
It’s not fair on others
Whether it’s members of your friendship group, family or your children is it fair to ignore the feelings? Wouldn’t these people rather have a happy content you, than an unhappy you? The relationships with these people will last if they are worth having in your life.
When my marriage ended I lost many friends. At the time it hurt like crazy, now I realise they weren’t my friends or worth my anguish.
What will they do if I leave?
This is a tough one. There are families where one partner is stopped from seeing the children when they break up. I have no answers for this, apart from it says a lot about the person who uses their child as a weapon.
They might hurt themselves if I go? You are not responsible for the actions of others. Unless you push them off a bridge you are not responsible for what they choose to do. If you carry on denying your feelings it might be you taking your own life in a year or two. Whose life is more important?
They might escalate their violent behaviour? This is what the police are for, use them. No one should be intimidated in their own house. Get help, hell move if you have to, but don’t stay it will never get any better.
They might change
Few do. It is their personality and to a certain extent why should they change? You shouldn’t be expected to change, nor should they. People who are negative in your life rarely change to a positive influence. You are fooling yourself if you think they will.
Look After You.
If you don’t put yourself first, no one will. Don’t put your happiness in the hands of others.
It is the toughest decision you will ever make to leave a negative relationship. I’m not going to tell you it is easy. Sometimes though you need to pull your big boy/girl pants on and go for it.
It is always best to be unhappy because you are making a change, than unhappy in a static state.
You are brave, you can do it. Change your mindset and make a change.
Put happiness first.